absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
