Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
My Higher Power is John Stamos
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize