"it" just moved
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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