can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
His hands were made for my vagina.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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