my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
