he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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