sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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