I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
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