I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize