Are we in a gay sports bar?
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
