no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Randomize
