There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
