JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
