They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Randomize
