I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
