i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
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