Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
