meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
