No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
