Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
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