So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Randomize
