clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
