I got chris browned last night
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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