He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
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