is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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