He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Randomize
