oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Randomize
