we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
