I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
