Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
