Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
