You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
