I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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