Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
