I didn't shave. On purpose
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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