its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
