He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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