Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Randomize
