Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
