think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
