i love accidental penises.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
