Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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