lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize