I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
