recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
