girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
