Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Boobs are out for the taking
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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