the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
