Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Randomize
