I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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