apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
