There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
