After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
