Me. At least after what I've been through.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Randomize
