it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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