I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
The uberlube is also flammable
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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