She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
