Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Green mimosas i think yes
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
They took my balls.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
