Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Randomize
