You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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