I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
