I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
