Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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