Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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